What’s in a name
May 1, 2008 by Red
I’ve had many pets throughout my life, varying from dogs to cats to frogs and turtles, pigs and horses, mice and rats and a few fishes here and there. My favorites are, of course, dogs and pigs - currently there are five dogs that reside here and a cat with … I’d say 4 or 5 kittens in ‘er belly as I type this. She’s such a slut.
To some, picking a name for a pet is a difficult duty. It has to be carefully thought out, with much consideration that said name won’t haunt the poor animal later in life. Sometimes, a person wants to name their pet according to their personality or a spot on it’s butt or because it has no teeth. Who knows.
Me? I go the opposite route of Capt’n Obvious. I don’t name a black dog “Blackie”. No, I’d name it “Crackah Ass.”
- I’ve had a turtle named “Fluffy”.
- I’ve had a dog named “Pig” because I was wanting a pig but settled for a damn mutt.
- I’ve had several fish named “Fluffy”.
- I’ve had a cat named “Goat”.
- I’ve had a pig named “Turd”.
- And a spotted mare was naturally named “Stripes”.
And then you have the registered names. Oh don’t even get me started on those.
- Duke’s Solid Gold Mistake
- Der Hagen’s Gimme Money Honey
- Raphael Anglique Arwen
- Ms Contessa Independence
just to name a few. Odd.
And .. and then you have the folks who pick out a name before even seeing the animal. They majically pull a name out of the air, with hopes that it’ll “match” the animal and sometimes it does, other times .. well, it doesn’t.
Let’s take my mom, for example. She was in search of a cat. I tried telling the woman that you don’t buy cats. You find them for free in the Penny Pincher, because cats are sluts. You don’t buy cats. And anyhow, she had a name already picked out, before we even got to the feedstore (where they, in fact, sell cats for five bucks a piece).
Her: I’m gonna name it Frank.
Me: I’ll call it Frankie. I don’t like Frank.
Her: Tough shit - it’s name’ll be Frank.
Me: Okay, so I’ll just call it Frankie then.
And that white-haired fucker sooo does not look like a “Frank”. It looks more like a “Shit Bomb”, so naturally I call it as such.
shit bomb is such a cuddly name
Isn’t it .. thats what I thought too.
Red
I once got a puppy and named him “Stay”. Training him was a bitch.
hahah .. Funny.
Red
When I first my met my Hub, his parents had a cat with official name ‘Tobacco Spit’ cuz his multicoloredness looked like it and they called him ‘Scuz’ for short.
Cool name.
Scuz, huh! Me likes.
Red
LOL. I name all my pets after food it seems. I wonder if that means something?
haha, Yeah, I like Jam and Toast.
You also need a Butter and Biscuit.
Red
LOL I always set out to name my pets actual nice names…they end up with names like Hardley and Bones LOL
hheheh, I like those names though .. they’re sweet.
Red
I was always influenced by Saturday morning cartoons or books, so my dogs ended up with names like Scruffy (mut) and Frodo (Doberman).
Dogs around my house when I was growing up had names like: Mona (German Sheppard), Amy(Doberman), Whiskey (Doberman), Sonnet (Golden Retriever), Bernard (St. Bernard), Bernice (mutt)… No real pattern. 
No, I dont see a pattern there
Good names, though .. I like Bernard ..
Red
I had a neighbor that named her cat, ‘Tittie-Tittie’. When she would step off her porch and call her cat, I would laugh my ass off.
hahahaaa! Funny. I like names like that.
Red
My favorite name for a dog was P.I.T.A.
It was an acronym for Pain in the Ass…
LOL!
hahaha .. perfect.
Red
My oldest cat is Yoda, named by my son. Then we got two more black kitties and he named them Luke and Lando (We got Star Wars goin on here). I kept getting Luke and Lando mixed up because they looked exactly alike because they were brothers. One had a red collar and one had a blue collar so I kept calling them Red and Blue and we have been calling them Red and Blue for 8 years except my son insists on calling them Luke and Lando. But he doesn’t live here anymore so they are officially Red and Blue.
hahhaha! I love Red and Blue. Together, they’d make purple .. psh, bad attempt at a lame joke
Red
You’ve always had an awesome sense of humor then, … a spotted mare named STRIPEs, LOL!
Nope, I was never creative like that.
Red, have I ever got a story for you…. But, it could never be shared with another….
Not creative? I think your boy is creative enough for the whole bunch! Yes, Im talkin’ about the email
Im still giggling.
Redmeister
Shit-bomb? Coolbeaners.
I like it.
~m
Thanks, it fits.
Red
I knew a girl had a dog called Poofter…I raised a pair of baby possums and called them Fish and Chips. Even after they were raised and released they hung around and came when called by name
hahaha … cool. .. possums.
Red
Fluffy. Clearly your favorite name for wet pets. This may mean something. Or not. Darn cute name anyways. Our dog has a kinda gay name. Oliver.
No offense to any gays or any Olivers.
Shit bomb is pure genius!
Oh, but I love the name Oliver and it sooo fits your pup.
Red
Oh my gosh, I wish I had named my cat Turd!!! And back in 1999 we didn’t know how slutty cats were, so we actually “bought” ours too…our name choice was a simple one: find a name that my parents can pronounce without it sounding funny in their Indian accent…we went with “Sammy” and all is well
hahhaa! Sammy is a good choice, if I do say so myself
Red
Yes I thought you would like that one
I do! I do!
Red
When I was a teen I named my cat Didley-Squat. Then we had Nermal the siamese cat, named after the cutest kitten in the world form Garfield.
DidleySquat is genius! I love that name.
Red
I also had a fish named Fluffy! It was, of course, a cat fish. She lived in my horse’s water tank until she mysteriously disappeared. I also had a black cat named Snowball and a hamster named Nothing.
In the water tank?!! Cat fish is some good vittles!
Nothing. hehhahaha! Great name.
Red