Clean toys are a must!
May 8, 2008 by Red
One of the most popular searches that find their way here is:
- How to clean a dildo/vibrator.
I have elected to write a post concerning this matter since quite a few folks are wondering, and plugging it into Google, thus finding me. It is my duty - a have-to, dear readers. I must inform the public the proper technique to keeping their sex toys squeeky clean, cuz you don’t want that shit going into your shit when it’s crusty, now do ya? I think not.
First off, common sense should tell you not to submerge any battery-packing toys, in its entirety, into water. Just run hot, soapy water over the vibes that contain batteries. Easy, yes?
It’s as simple as that, folks. Hot water. Antibacterial soap. Rinse. Air dry. Fuck. Repeat.
Your toys will be clean and ready to go if you do these few simple steps after each fuck session.
You know, some folks even swear they use the dishwasher or rubbing alcohol or baking grease or whatever to clean their goodies. But, me? I like soap and water, and my cunt has yet to fall off due to some nasty vibrator disease.
But, if you should so choose to throw one in the dishwasher, I would at least recommend top-rack only, and don’t put it close to Granny’s antique China.
This post is in dire need of pictures chronicling each step.
Scary to think that I expected that comment from you
Red
LOL. I like to this of this post as a public service announcement.
A PSA, it is
Red
Your work is never done, is it? So many questions. So little time!
I think Granny would like it if you put it next to something of hers…
Oh you wouldn’t believe some of the questions I get
Im sure Granny wooould like it . Sure of it.
Red
You are so good to us! As one of your loyal readers I thank you
hahaha! I do try
Red
OMG I just found your blog today and your post cracked me up.
Hah! So glad you enjoyed it!
Come back and see us!
Red
“and my cunt has to fall off due to some nasty vibrator disease.”
uhm, do you mean has YET to fall off?? or does it actually have to fall off before your vibe is clean? lol
Yeah, in my *line of work* i sell a toy cleaner, which is fine, but in my own home, in my own toy box - hot water and antibacterial soap does it for me.
aahahaha! Good call! FIXED!
Thanks!
Red
I once went into one of “those kinda stores” looking for an anniversary card because I knew that they carried really funny, slightly naughty ones. When I explained that it was a third anniversary, the fella behind the counter whipped out his chart of traditional and modern anniversary gifts, and then recognizing that the traditional third anniversary gift was leather, and the modern one was crystal or glass–showed me an assortment of leather cock rings and pyrex dildos. (Dishwasher safe!)
“those kinda stores” hahah, that phrase me laugh .. makes me wanna think I gotta call the pussy a “secret no-no spot”.
So did you enjoy the cock rings? Good times!!
Red
Air dry? I thought that you would say blowdry.
On the real thing, yes .. on plastic, ehh, no.
Red
Ah, Red, not many people are as eloquent as you, putting it right out there loud and clear:
“and my cunt has yet to fall off due to some nasty vibrator disease.”
Too f’ing funny
Dude, I write as honestly as I possibly can
Red
Clean Toys what a good health conscience Blog !!
Crotch Rot is no fun for anyone.
Yes! I like staying clean and healthy and all that mess.
I wouldnt know about no crotch rot . I stay clear of that
Red
I am so cumfused. I aren’t supposed to lick it clean and put it back in the drawer?
Well. . you can lick it clean .. but then warsh it up real good with that there soap afterwerd.
Red
Oh, wow…excellent public service, Red! The dishwasher for cleaning toys still has me thinking though…not sure the Electrasol residue would have such a pleasing effect. I think I’ll stick with good ol’ soap & water.
Thank ya very much!
No, I think the dishwashing liquid would leave a film .. and then that would leave a film on the hoohaw. ouch.
Red
Can you imagine those poor people before they found your helpful blog on this subject? They’re like, “Washing machine? Steel wool? Lysol? Bleach?” and they they found your blog and are like, “Ah! Soap! Why didn’t I think of that?”
hahahah! Yeah . . it’s brain science I tell ya.
Red
No…it pinched. And the little metal letters that said “slave” tarnished when I washed it off…
hehheeh, great answer
Red
lol HOW ARE YOU MISS RED?
Good, thanks.
Glad to see ya making your rounds!
Red
Thank you for answering my anonymous google-search…I mean…what??? Oh I think somebody else’s blog is calling me…I better go….
You’re very welcome, Romiliiiiita!
Red
hi gorgeous sissy!!
Great advice!! i wouldn’t recommend the dishwasher either, some of those detergents contain bleach and as we good girls know
bleach and hoo-haa’s don’t mix!! LOL
Hey sexy!!
Yeahhhh .. bleach and pussies dont work together too well.
Red
It is bad just to leave it out where the dog can lick the vibrator clean?
Isn’t dogs supposed to have a super clean mouth?
Yeah .. the dog can lick it clean, I suppose. After you use it on said dog, of course, right?
Red
I HAD a friend who adored her glass dildo- she bragged to me that she just “throws it right into the dishwasher” to clean it right up. I was so grossed out by this I said, “remind me to never eat or drink at your house again”….
Was it something I said? BAHAHAHH!
Someone commented with the word crotch rot, I just spit coffee and I am really glad your cunt didn’t fall off Red.
OMG!
What is something I said? hahahhaaa! Nooooo, no I dont believe it was!
I woulda done the same thing!
I think the words crotch rot are hillllarious! I dont want it, but it’s still funny as hell.
Red
Rinse. Air dry. Fuck. Repeat. This is going to be my motto from here on in ROFL
Ooh! And it’s a good one, too!
red
OMG, you are so crazy and fun. Love this post!!!
ahhaha, thanks!
Red
I saw the dishwasher trick on CSI of all things.
You should also do a post on rechargable batteries, because I go through those things like crazy.
Way to do your duty for dirty sex toy users everywhere
On CSI? haha! Who woulda thunk it!
Rechargables in vibes?! Noooo .. you use the cheapest ones you can find .. get dollar store batteries.. you use throw aways, the cheapest ones only!!!
Red